Certain parents exploit visitations to pursue harmful objectives. These goals often stem from a desire for revenge, aiming to inflict pain on the other parent or disrupt their life. To fulfill these intentions, parents may employ detrimental tactics that can significantly harm the children caught in between.
Here are some suggestions for steering clear of destructive actions:
Don’t refuse to communicate in a cordial manor with your former spouse Don’t use your children to relay divorce related messages on issues such as child support. Those issues should be discussed by adults only.Don’t make your children responsible for making, canceling or changing visitation plans. Those are adult responsibilities.
Don’t use your children to spy on your former spouse.
Don’t fight with the other parent during drop off and pickup times. Deal with important issues when your children cannot overhear.
Don’t disrupt your children’s relationship with their other parent.
Don’t make your children feel guilty about spending time with another parent.
Don’t use visitation as a reward for good behavior or withhold it as punishment for poor behavior
Don’t tell you children you will feel lonely and sad if they visit their other parent.
Don’t withhold visitations to punish your former spouse doesn’t deserve to see the children. Unless a parent is a genuine threat, adults and children.
Don’t use false abuse accusations to justify withholding visitations.
Don’t let activities such as sports and hobbies interfere with the time your children spend with their other parent. Your former spouse can transport the children to those activities if needed can sometimes participate.
Don’t pressure your children about leaving clothes or toys at their other parents’ home. The children need to feel they belong in both places.
Don’t falsely claim that our children are sick to justify withholding visitations.
Don’t withhold phone calls to your children from their other parent
Don’t put down the other parents’ new romantic partner
Don’t allow your anger to affect your relationship with your children.
Don’t hurt you children by failing to show up for visitation or by being late.
Don’t spoil your children to buy their loyalty and love.
Don’t let your children blackmail you by refusing to visit unless you buy them something.
Don’t try to bribe your children.
Don’t feel you need to be your children’s buddy for visitations to be successful. Your children need you to be a parent.
Don’t try to fill every minute of a visit. Allow some down time for routine activities such as cooking or laundry or quiet time just to be together.
One of the most effective ways to assist children during a separation or divorce is to ensure that visitations run smoothly.
Focusing on visitation guidelines is a crucial first step in assisting children with their adjustment. Not all of these dos and don’ts will apply to every situation, especially if there is a no-contact order or other limitations specified in the court ruling. While these recommendations can be helpful, they are not obligatory.
- Show respect for your former spouse and concern for your children.
- Continuing conflict between parents creates tension at the time of exchanges and visitations often put the children the middle. Putting aside past animosity makes visitation a much more rewarding experience and allows everyone to get on with their lives while maintaining good parent/child relationships.
- Be on Time
- Inform your former spouse if a new person such as a babysitter or romantic partner are to be a part of the children’s daily life
- Share changes in your address, home and work phone numbers and job with your former spouse.
- Each parent is entitled to know where the children are during visitations. They should also know if the children are left with other people.
- Parents should try to agree on their children’s religious education, as well as who is responsible for overseeing it.
- Both parents should realize that visitation schedules may change as children age and their needs change.
- Be Flexible about visitations schedules
- Remember that your children may have plans that could affect your visitation schedule.
- Provide a balance between fun and responsibility for your children
- Find activities that give you and your children an opportunity to build your relationship